Yeah, I know, that's like buying a BMW at one of those low-number, downtown side street used car dealer lots.
But it was new, and I got the service plan with it. So, the Shuffle went "stem up" (an Appleism I invented there). Walmart tells me, "Call this 800 number and they'll set you up."
The 800 number, after a 20-minute wait, says "Oh, just walk into any Apple store and they'll fix you up."
So, OK, the nearest one is at the Fashion Place Mall. I walk in. There's a nearly empty store, but still a young man stands at the front, a gatekeeper. I make the serpentine approach through nonsensical, airport-like chutes, feeling like livestock on the way to be branded.
An apt metaphor, as it turned out.
"I'm here to have my Shuffle repaired or replaced," I say.
"Do you have an appointment?" he sniffs, looking me up and down. I'm feeling like I should've worn slacks, pastel shirt and a sports jacket with some expensive kicks, all of a sudden -- definitely not a hoodie and jeans.
"Appointment? There's hardly anyone here. The service folks said to just drop by, drop this off and you'd fix or replace it," I say, whipping out my service agreement.
"OH. WAL . . . Mart," he smiles with ill-concealed derision. "No, you have to have an appointment, sir," and he waves me toward a nearby terminal.
So, the appointment is made for NEXT Saturday. To drop it off. To be repaired or replaced. Sheesh.
Effete, elitist Apple Jerks.
He wasn't that big, this Apple gatekeeper. I coulda taken him. It's not like he's the doorkeeper at a Queens night club, OK?
But, well, I didn't. It's a one-inch-square iPod Shuffle, for cryin' out loud. And you can be sure, it will be the last Apple product I buy.
Hey, I'm getting older. I'm entitled to unreasonable, vindictive consumer behavior.
Now, if it had been Android, I'd probably have been welcomed into the shed out back, offered ribs and brew, a new player and been offered a look-see at Bubba's classic shootin' iron collection.
... and, I wouldn't have paid $55, either, plus gas, and the irritation.
Grrrr.
