It was not a decision taken in haste, but after much introspection, study, and yes, prayer. The ensuing years since that life-altering choice has been glorious, painful, lonely, and also wonderful in the sense of a new family I've found at Sts. Peter and Paul Orthodox Church.
Like new convert to any faith, there is an initial period of zealous commitment. That is both good -- a joyful, all-in commitment to suddenly exploded horizons of belief and understanding -- and not so good, i.e. the temptation to vigorously "defend" one's new revelation of truth as not just closer to fully right, but to blithely dismiss anything "less" to be heretical, or at least inferior.
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| The late Fr. Seraphim Rose |
From his notes for a proposed, but never published (that I could find) “Manual for Orthodox Converts," there is this pearl:
"Such attitudes are spiritually extremely dangerous. The person holding them is invariably in grave spiritual danger himself, and by uttering his mistaken, self-centered words he spreads the poison of rationalist criticism to others in the Church."
Thankfully, my experience with that new convert attitude faded quickly (but still too long, and yes, I confessed it). In a nutshell, I have known, in my 66 years on this planet, too many people of genuine intent and faith for me to presume to judge anything about their relationship with God.
One can be convinced of one's faith, and its potential to grow in knowledge of the Truth, without judging another's journey.
To so the latter is to usurp the domain of the Divine, an error of ignorance, and a grievous sin. I've learned that the moment I presume to judge anyone's journey of faith, that is the time to confess, repent, and love. I know that . . . but I remain imperfect, and only more convinced of my shortfalls in love and humility whenever I even flirt with judgment.
Lord have mercy, indeed.
The point? Focus on your own faults, working out your own salvation. The best "witness" of the gospel for most of us is to simply live it, to love others . . . and to trust God to touch every heart where it happens to be on its unique journey -- whether dormant, just beginning, lost, or clinging to what they know, through pain, experience and love, to be the Truth.
Do I believe, with all my heart and soul, that the ancient church of Christ is preserved in its purest earthly, yet still imperfect form within Orthodoxy? I do.
But there is one judge of humankind's soul.
It ain't me. Or you.
Questions? Rather than arguments or theological debates, if you are interested in the ancient faith of Christ, I can only offer the advice I once received -- Come and See.
