A
friend and longtime journalistic colleague of mine asked the other
day why I hadn't blogged recently.
My
answer was that life had been too complicated of late, that I had
been reticent to write more about the downward spiral of Alzheimer's
and dementia with my parents, the disappointments of work, loss of
perceived purpose, etc.
In
short, I have been waiting for something more positive, uplifting to
write about.
The
arrival of my second grandson was, without a doubt, the best of a
trying beginning to a new year. My daughter and son-in-law send
pictures, and we video chat (Skype) frequently, to see little Nate,
his big brother Gabe, and our only granddaughter, Lela.
Another:
This past week, after six years of hard work, my wife, Barbara,
earned her B.S. in Accounting from Western Governors University. Her
joy and glow of success has been a treasure, and for her an
indescribable mix of elevated self-worth, victory over the odds, and
meaning.
Those
are the brightest moments these days. Those are the sailboats we choose to crawl aboard -- yes, choosing to sail toward the sun rather than sink deeper into the darkness of choppy seas.
Life
goes on, in all its exhilaration, the laughter and tears of a new
generation, and unavoidably, the sorrow and ongoing losses of the last generation.
It dawned on me, then, that if I waited for some dramatic turn in fortune to blog again, I would be doing
Life a disservice. And, I would be waiting a very long time.
We
humans like to divide what happens to us into "good" or "bad." We are blessed, or
cursed; loved or hated; appreciated or dismissed; relevant or
discarded, relegated to less-ambitious roles by younger superiors,
etc.
If
you maintain the usual human linear assumptions -- our finite,
fail-safe manner of thinking and experiencing life -- all of that
seems true.
But
nothing truly is linear. Matter, energy and our souls are alike
indestructible. Mountains erode into sand; sunlight is absorbed by
plants to feed and, when they flower, amaze us higher life forms; and
corporeal bodies are born, age, break down and eventually decompose
to their base elements, only to return as the elements of new life.
The
"Breath of Life," that profound, ethereal and yet
reassuring expression of creation and existence and rebirth into an
infinite existence, exposes as woefully inadequate that linear view of Time, or Being, or
Purpose.
We
are in error if we do not realize that Reality, according to
physicists and theologians alike, extends far beyond the meager dimensions in which we live and perceive.
We
attempt to grasp at an understanding of the Creative Intelligence,
visualizing human-like super beings holding sway over our lives. But
in our hearts, we know that "God" is a Presence both
horrifying in its difference from us, and in its iinfinite nature,
and as wonderful, and awe-inspiring in its limitless embodiment of
what we call "Love.”
And
when it comes to Love, we perceive even that with only a microscopic,
fragmentary understanding.
We
see beginning, middle and end, and think we understand the nature of
things. He sees all Time, all its permutations, alternate outcomes –
and Space, what we perceive and the wilderness of endless stars,
planets, life forms beyond -- as One.
Ultimately,
we have two choices.
We
can, in our human arrogance, close the inquiries of our finite minds
to the Infinite, to Love, Creation and Purpose beyond grasping; we
can conclude that what WE cannot understand cannot exist.
Or,
we can accept, embrace and trust the Creator and creative process
that led to what we are -- as a species, as well as individual souls.
When
intellect reaches its limits, there is nothing more than to surrender
to the limits, and thus errors of our knowledge.
And,
always, the proper response to Love is to live in it, allowing it to
flow through us to others.
