A blog about writing, faith, and epiphanies born of the heart, and on the road
Monday, January 21, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
Maybe the best 'revenge' really is forgiving?
I could only laugh, with not a little bitterness -- tempered by the survivalist humor I've learned to cultivate as an observer of human nature -- when I read of a columnist in my home state of Washington citing commentary on his writings as part of the reason he's hanging it up.
More to the point, Steve Kelley of the Seattle Times referred to the tendency of commenters, protected by anonymity, to slither into the depths of human meanness, cyber-stalking and character assassination. This has become predominant in many of the so-called "public forums" newspapers provide online for their articles.
Most papers have moderators assigned to identify and delete the most egregious comments, and some commenters even get the boot for repeated personal attacks, profanity, racism or bigotry. But it is an easy thing for them to recreate themselves with new "handles" and resume their diatribes.
Such is the case with a former boss of mine. Almost 15 years after I tendered by resignation and left him in his black cloud of impotent rage, the man periodically shows up under various identities. At one point, a moderator at our paper found he had created no less than six identities to comment negatively on every story I wrote.
Each account was terminated and yet he would return. Eventually, his IP addresses were identified and blocked. But it is no difficult thing to change IP addresses, and he has. His most recent identity was that of a faux female, but as always, his bipolar (diagnosed) arrogance was his undoing. Too many little hints dropped in comments here and there.
This time, though, I have asked his account not be deleted. Part of the reason is realization that doing that only feeds his anger and desire for retribution for imagined wrongs. But the larger reason is pity.
His unrelenting hatred, expressed in the comments, gives me regular practice at forgiving. And in a world where so many people act on perceived slights to the harm of themselves and others, at least this is a real, repeated offense.
Life gives us malevolent mysteries, does it not? Instances where we endure the ill-will of someone and never quite figure out, Why?
Sometimes, there is no answer. There is no logic to mental illness, no reasoning with psychosis. So, what else is there to do but forgive?
Maybe Kelley has his own cyber-stalkers and has just decided enough is enough.
As he puts it: “The level of discourse has become so inane and nasty. And it’s not just at the Times, it’s ESPN, everywhere – people, anonymous people, take shots at the story, writers, each other. Whatever you’ve achieved in that story gets drowned out by this chorus of idiots.”
I understand the sentiment. Still, I have to work for a living: Too many people depend on me to just give up.
And, it's just not my nature.
What goes around, comes around. That will happen all by itself; I don't need to push it along.
So, I will continue to forgive. It's been well past Christ's "seventy times seven," in this case.
But the lesson was this: Strike back, hold hatred or offense, and you not only feel the pain of the blow, but you allow it to cripple you spiritually.
And the lesson is this, now: To one for whom much has been forgiven, much forgiveness is expected.
That's me.
More to the point, Steve Kelley of the Seattle Times referred to the tendency of commenters, protected by anonymity, to slither into the depths of human meanness, cyber-stalking and character assassination. This has become predominant in many of the so-called "public forums" newspapers provide online for their articles.
Most papers have moderators assigned to identify and delete the most egregious comments, and some commenters even get the boot for repeated personal attacks, profanity, racism or bigotry. But it is an easy thing for them to recreate themselves with new "handles" and resume their diatribes.
Such is the case with a former boss of mine. Almost 15 years after I tendered by resignation and left him in his black cloud of impotent rage, the man periodically shows up under various identities. At one point, a moderator at our paper found he had created no less than six identities to comment negatively on every story I wrote.
Each account was terminated and yet he would return. Eventually, his IP addresses were identified and blocked. But it is no difficult thing to change IP addresses, and he has. His most recent identity was that of a faux female, but as always, his bipolar (diagnosed) arrogance was his undoing. Too many little hints dropped in comments here and there.
This time, though, I have asked his account not be deleted. Part of the reason is realization that doing that only feeds his anger and desire for retribution for imagined wrongs. But the larger reason is pity.
His unrelenting hatred, expressed in the comments, gives me regular practice at forgiving. And in a world where so many people act on perceived slights to the harm of themselves and others, at least this is a real, repeated offense.
Life gives us malevolent mysteries, does it not? Instances where we endure the ill-will of someone and never quite figure out, Why?
Sometimes, there is no answer. There is no logic to mental illness, no reasoning with psychosis. So, what else is there to do but forgive?
Maybe Kelley has his own cyber-stalkers and has just decided enough is enough.
As he puts it: “The level of discourse has become so inane and nasty. And it’s not just at the Times, it’s ESPN, everywhere – people, anonymous people, take shots at the story, writers, each other. Whatever you’ve achieved in that story gets drowned out by this chorus of idiots.”
I understand the sentiment. Still, I have to work for a living: Too many people depend on me to just give up.
And, it's just not my nature.
What goes around, comes around. That will happen all by itself; I don't need to push it along.
So, I will continue to forgive. It's been well past Christ's "seventy times seven," in this case.
But the lesson was this: Strike back, hold hatred or offense, and you not only feel the pain of the blow, but you allow it to cripple you spiritually.
And the lesson is this, now: To one for whom much has been forgiven, much forgiveness is expected.
That's me.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Whew. Missed the fiscal cliff. Sorry about the "rich"
OK. No tax hikes for people making $400K individually, or $450K as a family.
Whew. I was really sweating that. I came THIS close -- a mere 700 percent raise away! Thank goodness there have been no raises at work for several years. I applaud the fiscal insight corporately applied. I do. Honestly.
Well, fine. Not honestly. Sarcasm, dripping and rolling down the chin sarcasm there.
It is good to be employed at all. That is seriously true. I remind myself of that, because so many in my industry no longer have jobs.
They are struggling to survive, while I can whine about years of inflation, price hikes, etc., having shrunk the real dollar value of take home pay by 12 percent or more (not to mention gasoline prices nearly tripled in the past five years, and health insurance premiums more than doubled).
So, dead seriously, I can't feel too much angst for those folks who may have to hold off on that third or fourth car in the garage to pay what they paid when Clinton was president.
Not that taxing the rich does anything to alleviate the fiscal mess our nation has created with waste, fraud, bloated social welfare programs far extended in purpose beyond their original intent, and skyrocketing debt.
We have to arrive at the point where we realize our government cannot be the nanny for everyone who fails, or in some cases don't even try. We have to allow some consequence for failure. The idea of those who refuse to work, if they are physically able, to avoid the results via the public dole has to be rethought.
And if Americans are living longer, their work years extended along with their life spans, then does it make sense to have Social Security retirement kick in at an age (65) that was just a few years shy of life expectancy in the 1930s . . . but now is 15-30 years out?
Do we continue to bail out banks and investment firms that game the system, giving millions in bonuses to CEOs who FAIL? Do we continue to borrow to underwrite decades of warfare that extend far beyond their initial, specific goals?
Monday, December 31, 2012
2012: Yes, that is my steel-toed boot in your rear
So long, 2012.
Don't let the door hit you on the arse on the way out . . . because it will be my metaphorical steel-toed boot you feel crushing your nether regions as you tumble yelping into the mists of Time!
Seriously, a friend remarked today that I have had a "terrible" year. Perspective is all, though.
Yes, had to put the folks, suffering Alzheimer's, into an assisted living facility. Yes, had open-heart surgery and now am a Bionic Bob, thanks to a new aortic heart valve.
Yes, survived rounds of layoffs and shuffling at the newspaper where I work. But there it is: SURVIVED.
Neitzsche famously wrote, "That which doesn't kill me, makes me stronger." That, or a version of it, has been a pop music and rap lyric of late, too.
All right, people perhaps conveniently forget that ol' Frederich ended his life nuts, either from syphilis, or perhaps manic-depressive illness that gave way to full-blown psychosis.
This also is the guy who declared God had died, called himself anti-Christ, proposed the idea of Ubermenchen (i.e. Super Men, an idea appropriated by Hitler with rather cataclysmic results).
Frederich also said this, perhaps in honest introspection: "The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others."
So, OK. I survived. Stronger? Time will tell.
Anxious to make the symbolic leap into a new, hopefully better year? Oh, yes. Happy to be alive, absolutely.
Blessed? Well, that's how I choose to look at it.
And, it is a choice, my friends.
Happy New Year!
Addendum: A hoot of celebration will accompany that boot . . . doctor just called to say I do NOT have lymphoma. Since a swollen lymph node was found two weeks ago, had been waiting on the results of blood and CT scan. Thanks, Lord.
Don't let the door hit you on the arse on the way out . . . because it will be my metaphorical steel-toed boot you feel crushing your nether regions as you tumble yelping into the mists of Time!
Seriously, a friend remarked today that I have had a "terrible" year. Perspective is all, though.
Yes, had to put the folks, suffering Alzheimer's, into an assisted living facility. Yes, had open-heart surgery and now am a Bionic Bob, thanks to a new aortic heart valve.
Yes, survived rounds of layoffs and shuffling at the newspaper where I work. But there it is: SURVIVED.
Neitzsche famously wrote, "That which doesn't kill me, makes me stronger." That, or a version of it, has been a pop music and rap lyric of late, too.
All right, people perhaps conveniently forget that ol' Frederich ended his life nuts, either from syphilis, or perhaps manic-depressive illness that gave way to full-blown psychosis.
This also is the guy who declared God had died, called himself anti-Christ, proposed the idea of Ubermenchen (i.e. Super Men, an idea appropriated by Hitler with rather cataclysmic results).
Frederich also said this, perhaps in honest introspection: "The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others."
So, OK. I survived. Stronger? Time will tell.
Anxious to make the symbolic leap into a new, hopefully better year? Oh, yes. Happy to be alive, absolutely.
Blessed? Well, that's how I choose to look at it.
And, it is a choice, my friends.
Happy New Year!
Addendum: A hoot of celebration will accompany that boot . . . doctor just called to say I do NOT have lymphoma. Since a swollen lymph node was found two weeks ago, had been waiting on the results of blood and CT scan. Thanks, Lord.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
A condo complex Christmas: It's over, folks.
OK, unless you are Orthodox Christian, Christmas is over now.
Stop the sickeningly sweet, let's-avoid-reality-while-we-teeter-on-the-fiscal-cliff "holiday" songs. I swear, if I even see Rudolph still nosing around, I just might put one between his eyes, just above that blasted nose.
Take down the tree and lights. Keeping them up does not extend the holiday. Really.
Your bosses still expect you to show up, the bills still need to be paid and the calendar moves inexorably toward 2013.
At least, take down the
lights on New Year's Day, people. Yeah, that includes you, Bucko, in the
next building over . . . yeah, Mr. I'll-Keep-My-Lights-Up-through -Independence-Day,
I'm talking to you.
Oh, and letting your pit bull crap on your third-floor patio does not qualify as "letting the dog out." And kicking Fido's leavings off the patio is not "picking up after your pet," as the HOA requires.
Guess what you are going to find at your door, inside a flaming Christmas stocking? Hint: a lump, but not of coal.
Bah. Humbug.
:)
Monday, December 24, 2012
Christmas: The best gift is generosity of spirit -- and a hug
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Take time to disengage from the commercial nightmare this holiday (i.e. holy day) has become.
Take time to hold your loved ones close, to be generous of spirit, to "see" your friends and family by taking memory snapshots of the smiles, and to say "I love you."
Life is fragile and joy fleeting . . . but every moment spent with love is a deposit in Eternity.
Take time to disengage from the commercial nightmare this holiday (i.e. holy day) has become.
Take time to hold your loved ones close, to be generous of spirit, to "see" your friends and family by taking memory snapshots of the smiles, and to say "I love you."
Life is fragile and joy fleeting . . . but every moment spent with love is a deposit in Eternity.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Put the blame where it belongs: within the human heart
Lots of finger-pointing, and not a little hatred being directed these days at the National Rifle Association in particularly, and pretty much anyone who has decided to take defense of their homes and loved ones into their own hands -- rather than depending on overworked and stretched thin law enforcement . . . i.e., gun owners.
I am a gun owner. I have a concealed weapons permit. I took the safety training, and I am proficient, regularly going to a safe, regulated firing range. But I do not, as I've mentioned before, see why anyone needs to full-on military style assault rifle to "defend" his or her person, loved ones or home.
Honestly, assault weapons seem to be a big leap from self defense to an offensive ability more in line with militia movements, which often have political agendas of their own.
But I digress.
There is a lot of debate, and not a little angry name-calling going on, and by folks who, in my opinion, do not have bona fides to speak to any level I feel the need to respect. But I would argue this man, Darrell Scott, has earned the right to be heard.
Not perhaps to be agreed with on every point; but his loss and grief carry a lot more weight we me than some idiot thinking the solution is to strip all law-abiding gun owners of the means to defend themselves -- while, by definition, leaving criminals the undermanned police departments the only ones with weapons. Neither do I think some Bubba with a collection of AR-15s, AK-47s and a bagful of extended capacity clips has the right to speak with authority on the issue, either.
So, whatever side of this debate you find yourself, or if you are in the middle somewhere, I think Darrell Scott has earned a moment of your time.
To read a transcript of what he had to say to Congress in the aftermath of the Columbine massacre, click on this link.
His points, I believe, at least deserve recognition in the wake of recent incidents where madmen have acted to slay the innocent, and perhaps more to the point, the defenseless.
I am a gun owner. I have a concealed weapons permit. I took the safety training, and I am proficient, regularly going to a safe, regulated firing range. But I do not, as I've mentioned before, see why anyone needs to full-on military style assault rifle to "defend" his or her person, loved ones or home.
Honestly, assault weapons seem to be a big leap from self defense to an offensive ability more in line with militia movements, which often have political agendas of their own.
But I digress.
There is a lot of debate, and not a little angry name-calling going on, and by folks who, in my opinion, do not have bona fides to speak to any level I feel the need to respect. But I would argue this man, Darrell Scott, has earned the right to be heard.
Not perhaps to be agreed with on every point; but his loss and grief carry a lot more weight we me than some idiot thinking the solution is to strip all law-abiding gun owners of the means to defend themselves -- while, by definition, leaving criminals the undermanned police departments the only ones with weapons. Neither do I think some Bubba with a collection of AR-15s, AK-47s and a bagful of extended capacity clips has the right to speak with authority on the issue, either.
So, whatever side of this debate you find yourself, or if you are in the middle somewhere, I think Darrell Scott has earned a moment of your time.
To read a transcript of what he had to say to Congress in the aftermath of the Columbine massacre, click on this link.
His points, I believe, at least deserve recognition in the wake of recent incidents where madmen have acted to slay the innocent, and perhaps more to the point, the defenseless.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Call for common sense: Self-defense firearms, yes; assault rifles, no
OK . . . People need the right to defend themselves against the lawless, who could care less if gun laws are stricter. Police departments are being cut, not expanded, so the need is greater than ever.
But come on -- assault rifles? Extended clips? No background checks on both criminal and mental health status? There can be a logical, safer middle ground here.
That said, gun control legislation appears powerless to stop madness. In Connecticut, with some of the nation's toughest gun control laws, the Newtown mass murderer still was able to arm himself -- despite being turned down after a background check when he tried to buy a rifle a few days before the school shootings.
He did this by killing his mother and stealing the arsenal he used.
About the same time he murdered 20 children, six adults and then killed himself, a man in China slashed 22 children with a knife.
So, mandatory background checks ruling out both criminals and the mentally ill from gun ownership. But sane, at risk citizens still need the right to be armed in self-defense against those who would rape, rob and kill.
They do not, however, need a military assault rifle to do this.
If someone breaks into your home, you have a few seconds to react. That's one, two or maybe three shots from a revolver, normal semi-automatic pistol, or a shotgun.
Military grade assault rifles are more the firearm of terrorists or militia types with dreams of revolution or anarchy.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Up to our eyeballs, and the answer? Faith, in action
People
are just plain scared.
And
perhaps, they should be.
We
seemed -- in no small part due to the blinders those in my own
profession stubbornly/naively refused to remove –to believe the presidential election was the most important thing
going for this nation over the past few months.
In
terms of choosing to stay the admitted sluggish economic course, it
was. In terms of refusing to elect the alternative, who promised
economic recovery without providing specifics, it was.
But
now, here we are, same old, same old. The "fiscal cliff"
beckons, with both sides now admitting taxes WILL go up, and for all
of us. The idea of letting the Bush era tax cuts expire, though, was
never really an issue, was it?
Of
course they should, and will, expire. That's a fairness issue. But to
believe letting the rich pay at rates approach income tax levels the
rest of us pay will solve the budgetary problems we face, that is
ludicrous.
I'd
even say it was a massive "red herring," except that it
nonetheless is the right thing, the fair thing, to do.
But
so is extensive tax, Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security reform.
There is corruption, there is waste, perhaps even the $800 billion
worth Republicans have argued exists, even as they try to prevent the
top 2 percent of Americans from paying the rates they once paid under
President Clinton.
All
these things are important. But they pale next to the challenges we
face that literally threaten to plunge the world, let alone our
nation, into turmoil.
Climate
change, along with more severe weather patterns, drought, and rising
sea levels, poses economic as well as "natural" disaster
risks.
The
Middle East mess, for which both our initial good intentions and our
current loss of leadership and vision are at least partially
responsible, could trigger regional and perhaps world warfare that
makes Book of Revelation-style doom a reality.
Chemical
weapons stockpiles in Syra and terrorists with access to those.
Iranian nuclear weapons, and the same old hatred of Israel that
threatens yet another war of genocide against the Jews in a new
century.
And
in the middle, Palestinians now generations into their unwanted role
of hot potato being tossed between Arabic power brokers, Israel and
the nations supporting both sides.
Famine
grows in Africa. Drought threatens even America's bread basket.
Energy costs soar, leading to rising prices amid static, even
retreating incomes that are eroding the Middle Class.
There
is also, perhaps more important than all these things in the long
run, a moral and cultural erosion that seems only to be accelerating.
We
don't need to argue specifics of the rights for gays, minorities and
the unborn to agree that broken families and fatherless families are
turning out troubled kids, many of whom seem devoid of morals or
respect for life and property.
Like
our economy, foreign policy and morals, the family unit that is the
cornerstone of any civilization seems bankrupt.
Bottom
line: It is ALL unsustainable.
So,
pretty bleak, yes? Beyond our abilities to solve, probably.
That's
why there's faith. And with faith, in God and each other, we can
address each and every one of our challenges. One at a time.
It
starts with knowing that, and acting on that. It can start with a
smile, a hand up, a prayer and decisions that are based on treating
the Other as we would like to be treated.
Pass
it on.
It
is our only hope.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Angels in NYPD blue
Love this. An act of kindness, without expectation of recognition, and from a law enforcement officer -- someone you might expect to become cynical, dealing with the worst of us every day.
"Jennifer Foster of Florence, AZ was visiting Times Square with her husband Nov. 14 when they saw a shoeless man asking for change. She writes, “Right when I was about to approach, one of your officers came up behind him. The officer said, ‘
I have these size 12 boots for you, they are all-weather. Let’s put them on and take care of you.’ The officer squatted down on the ground and proceeded to put socks and the new boots on this man. The officer expected NOTHING in return and did not know I was watching*. I have been in law enforcement for 17 years. I was never so impressed in my life. I did not get the officer’s name. It is important, I think, for all of us to remember the real reason we are in this line of work. The reminder this officer gave to our profession in his presentation of human kindness has not been lost on myself or any of the Arizona law enforcement officials with whom this story has been shared.”
Our thanks to the Fosters for their attention and appreciation, and especially to this officer, who remains anonymous."
Our thanks to the Fosters for their attention and appreciation, and especially to this officer, who remains anonymous."
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